Veeps 2008

When I was a child, I was cute and precocious and smart. I scored very high on all my early tests, and my parents and teachers loved me.

When I was eight years old, I was cited by the police twice in two nights, first for shoplifting at the local Safeway and the next [...]

I just read the other day that, in this age of prohibitively-expensive fuel prices, the buzzword “staycation” has entered our lexicon, like a masticated wad of Almond Roca suddenly stuck in our collective fillings. In case you missed it on Oxygen or in Parade magazine, the stay-at-home vacation, or…well, you get it. Anyway, it’s [...]

When you’re sitting in a manse high on the hill, it’s understandable that you don’t know what the rising water feels like when it comes up around your ankles. That doesn’t mean you have to sympathize with the quivering hands sticking desperately out of the water, witnessed from on-high through your binoculars.
For a few hours [...]

Recent political history is dirty with politicians who have learned the hard way that in this age of all media, always on, all the time, there’s no such thing as a “private moment” when you’re sitting in front of a mic, mere moments away from speaking to the entire country, or at least a good [...]

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”
Short one tonight. I have to mind the ramparts and keep my place from going up in flames, because of my [...]

Let’s forget for the moment that he’s right. It was a dumb, impolitic thing to say about a state that James Carville described as “Philadelphia and Pittsburgh with Alabama in the middle.” Keith Olbermann put it better than I ever could, “There’s a lot of context to that quote, but to paraphrase Mae West, ‘Context [...]

whore (noun) \hor, hur\ – 1. A woman who engages in sexual acts for money; a promiscuous or immoral woman; 2. A male who engages in sexual acts for money; 3. A venal or unscrupulous person.
Well, I know she hasn’t engaged in sexual acts for money–or, to give her the same benefit of the doubt [...]

VeepsBlog 2008 thanks you for your patience and understanding for this abbreviated version of VeepsBlog as Bill Kelter has been busy the past few days researching Veeps-related issues and completing the copious studying and analysis necessary to prepare for his first Veeps 2008-related radio interview. VeepsBlog 2008 will return Thursday evening with 1,500 hilarious, knee-slapping [...]

Joe Biden has the single best line of this year’s Presidential campaign when he said of Rudolph Giuliani that “every sentence out of his mouth consists of a noun, a verb, and ‘9-11′.”
On a much graver note, he knocked another one out of the park during today’s Armed Services Committee hearing when he asked Iraq [...]

No one ever accused of Hilllary of having scruples in choosing who she associates with in her quest for the White House. There’s nothing wrong with hiring a fox to guard your henhouse if the survival of the chickens is secondary to your goal of winning the deed to the farm. Foxes can in fact [...]